don't let dhe lollipop drop
by deuil0Aiseki
Summary: Ingredients: lots of pure sasusaku-ness, even more curses, ten times more fun with occasional citrus flavouring... -UNDERGOING REPAIR-
1. gosh, is this for real?

{Dropping her book, she glared at dhe fallen book viciously, as if to lift it up using her [non-exsistent] telepathetic powers.

"As if me fucking owns Naruto!"}

Glaring maliciously at dhe rear view mirror, she cranked dhe volume of her car radio to dhe maximum, blasting out bubblegum pop.

As dhe familiar cliffs rolled by, she brought her porsche to a screeching halt.

Smirking, she grabbed hold of her two guns from her two holsters fastened under her skirt.

Kicking open her car door, she jumped out, twirling her guns.

Several people had gotten out of dhe car, cautiously pointing their guns at her.

"Come on, fucking bastards! I'm looking forward to sending your fucking asses to fucking hell!"

She snarled, baring her teeth.

Dhe guys in black growled lowly, angling their guns to aim at her.

She ducked down an instant before shots rang out.

Taking aim, she aimed for their weapons, effortlessly knocking their weapons out of their hands.

Glaring at dhe useless twisted metals on dhe floor, dhe guys charged at her.

With a roundhouse kick, she knocked out dhe first guy, proceeding to give dhe next a devastating puch in his guts.

A fist found its way to her ribs, effectively knocking her breath out.

Seething, she turned to dhe person who punched her.

Froze.

"WHAT DHE FUCK! YOU!"

Xx - and they said wuv sucks-xX

Glancing nonchalently at his opponents, he stood where he was, arms folded, ignoring dhe beefy guys armed to dhe teeth.

When they moved, attempting to shoot him with their massive guns, he darted swiftly to dhe side, gun cocked to take out two of dhe guys without hesistation.

With cold calculation, he delivered a powerful kick to dhe guy.

With all of dhe useless people out of dhe way, he strode swiftly to his destination.

And right smack into an unsuspecting obstacle.

"!"


	2. pisstols and hate

[hey darlings, me is BACKKKKKK. School sucks. Big time. Ewwww, triple science sucks too, dhe crazy maniac maths teacher is driving me bonkers… oh yeah, if me own Naruto, me is god ;)]

"WHAT DHE FUCK! YOU!"She shrieked.

"…" He stared passively, eyebrow raised at her absentmindedly rubbing her ribs.

"Shit… did you have to punch so darn fucking hard?"

He chuckled at her reaction, ruffling her hair with his right hand.

"Ita-aniki, you think those fuckers came from ANBU?"

"No, at least not with direct orders from dhe top. These are amateurs, ANBU isn't dumb."

She nodded thoughtfully, putting her pistols away.

"hmmm, another gang then… must be testing us out. *snort* Idiots." she pondered out loud, sliding effortlessly into her bright viridian Porsche.

Itachi entered silently after her, scrolling dhe tinted windows back into place.

Starting dhe engine, she zipped across dhe area back to their house. [errrm, they're living together but not… cohabitating… me'll explain it later]

A pair of eyes glinted in dhe darkness, blinking before blending into dhe shadows.

Xx-ME WANT -Xx

Eyes widened fractionally, coal eyes void of emotion stared at dhe man before him.

"Oy, Teme, whaaaaat took you so loooooooong? My five cups of instant Ramen are cooked and eaten already!" Dhe blonde whined, slurping his sixth cup of instant Ramen.

Twitching, he ignored dhe Dobe and continued and, without a further glance, strode forwards to his sleek, silver _precious_ motorcycle.

He hopped on his ride agilely, leaving Naruto trailing behind hurling abuse at him.

"Uchiha, go check out dhe empty fields beyond dhe cliffs. Akatsuki have enquired about an attack there." A voice droned in his ear.

His hands tightened at dhe mention of Akatsuki.

"Hn."

Accelerating wildly, he leaned forwards and raced to dhe scene.

A snake slithered from dhe bush into dhe comfort of darkness, unnoticed by dhe absorbed Uchiha.

Xx-shut dhe hell up asshole-Xx

Surveying dhe scene with a practiced eye, she looked for any clues as to which gang was behind this bullshit attempt to ambush Akatsuki.

Whoever did this was an idiotic asshole.

Thumbing through their wallets, she scrutinized each and every detail, determined to kick those damn asses to hell.

He narrowed his eyes at dhe burst of pink hair and long, toned legs beneath a barely there lacy skirt.

Striding over, onyx eyes picked out details to study.

Porcelain white skin, slender, slightly toned arms, a tattoo on her biceps with dhe kanji for fear surrounded by ominous grey clouds with a thick red outline.

She whipped around, pistols cocked at him.

He raised his eyebrow at her silver guns and merely took off his jacket to reveal his tattoo.

Dhe mangekyou sharingan was on his biceps.

His deliciously toned arms. [yum, yum ;)]

"Uchiha."

Holstering her pistols, still tensed, not fully trusting him.

His impassive gaze followed her pistols, giving him a glimpse of milky thighs under her skirt.

Hands tensed into fists as he tore his gaze away.

She stared at well toned arms, a chiseled chest and travelled to his muscular legs.

Naughty images filled her mind.

She ripped her thoughts away from him, focusing instead on dhe bodies littered on dhe floor.

"Know any of these fuckers?"

She gave dhe nearest body a vicious kick.

He glanced at dhe bodies, carefully examining them.

He abruptly bent down for a closer examination.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion, hands reaching out to take a closer look at dhe neck.

She hopped closer in curiosity.

As he tilted dhe guy's chin, she cursed vehemently.

"Stupid fucking asshole bastard! Didn't he fucking die ?"

His lips twitched briefly in amusement at her string of curses before contemplating dhe new development.

His head snapped to dhe right, sensing a movement.

He caught a peek of a scaly tail poking out af dhe bush before it slithered away.

He glared at dhe bush in annoyance.

Dhe sound of a car startled dhe both of them.

A figure stepped out of dhe car,

She frowned while he tensed, both squinting to identify dhe person.

[oh my, who can that be?]


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hahas, for some weird reason that I won't mention, I'm taking down every story. I'm rewriting them and posting them up on my other account. If you're interested, just PM me, arigrato~


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